Today I met the team. I am exhausted; mentally, physically. I think I have been carrying around a lot of stress that’s now expressing itself just through meeting all of these people that I know from the past. It’s a positive thing of course, but I just feel the weight of all the time under the bridge. I feel content, and comfortable, but a bit distant as if everything is viewed through a soft lens. When you squint, everything feels normal - a big group, hanging out, eating vegetarian chili and chocolate cake homemade by one of the rider’s sister, who is apparently a chef. But there are signs: the masks we all were given, the fact that we’re all sitting outside and not using the inside of the house, the signs that point the most direct route to the bathroom so we don’t linger. We’re camping every night, which is not something we would normally do.
I just feel very tired. I feel the weight of things from the past. I think this trip will recharge my batteries, slowly. Anyway: it’s still hot, it’s still green. I had lunch with Mike Platania: everything is just the same as it always was, which is both comforting and a little odd. I feel like I am slowly learning something about the way life works, and the rhythm of things. Most people don’t change as often as I do.
